“All the World will be your enemy, Prince of a Thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you: digger, listener, runner, Prince with the swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed.”
Richard Adams – Watership Down
I forgot to mention that Chad suffers from Schizo-affective disorder, and in the realm of that mental illness, he often manifests a profound delusion of grandeur. This “superhero” he invents in his mind is capable of ingesting limitless amounts of drugs and alcohol – while continuing to function in everyday life at such cumbersome activities as: working, seeing his son, driving a car, (his superhero’s name is Defladi, named after the famous Italian circus performer who died unfortunately in the mouth of an aging Siberian Tiger named “Prissy.”} having sex with strange women, preaching the reality of UFO’s and ghosts and 9/11 conspiracy theories and most astonishingly of all, while keeping our garden fresh with produce and the fridge filled with Busch Ice beer, at 5.9% alcohol and seven dollars a twelve pack. Chad has one mental illness. I have another.
I shake my head and lay back on my air-bed. Chad takes another line and looks out at the grey sky. “So I guess today is it.” I almost forgot, today is his court date. He could conceivably have to serve up to two years in prison for those mushrooms. His Jewish lawyer, Fritz, isn’t confident either way. Fritz tried to convert Chad into the Jewish faith during their recent relationship, convinced that God would be more inclined to be merciful if only Chad would take the leap. The three of us actually went to Synagogue downtown and I was the one who thought about making the switch from Christian/Taoist/Church of Native Americans (purely for Peyote usage) to the Hebrew tradition. The reason was simple. I love Jewish girls.
Heading down the side of the house I look over to the surrounding woods and notice a large African American man dressed in Silk robes eyeing us. Chad sees him as well but we keep walking. We head out to a large oak tree in the middle of the yard and sit down.
“Thought he had left?” Chad asks.
“He is still tripping. He didn’t dose until 4 am when he got off work,” I say. “You know how potent that acid is.”
“He gonna’ just sit in the woods all day and stare at shit?” Chad asks.
“Take it easy on him. His massage/healing business just fell through. We lay back against the tree. “There is more to the story, my friend.”
“Which story?”
“He is your new lawyer.” I pull out a beer from my pocket and crack it open. I take a swig and hand it to Chad.
“Hilarious, dude.”
“I’m not kidding. Fritz called me yesterday when he couldn’t find you and said he had a family emergency come up, up in D.C.”
“What the fuck!” Chad chugs half the beer down. “This shit is warm.”
“Fritz said he knew a lawyer who would fill in nicely. Said his name was Sunflowerman.”
“You telling me that that drugged out WEIRDO trippin’ in our yard is my lawyer this afternoon? He told me iz’ name was Freddie?”
CHAPTER 2
SUNFLOWER AND THE COURTROOM
I’ve seen my fair share of cheap suits, and have been guilty of buying mine from Goodwill when the time came. Six dollars and you are good to go. Sunflower has been told that his robes aren’t acceptable in court so we loan him ten bucks to buy a suit from the Salvation Army on Patton Avenue. Straight out of the 70’s and far too tight, Freddie looks more like a pimp than an attorney. The sun is bright over Asheville now and although I take this as a good omen for Chad, we are still in a state of mystification over the man who has been sent to save Chad from certain imprisonment. I did have 3 grams of Hawaiin shrooms’ still in the freezer and Freddie talked me into sharing them with him about four hours ago. To that, he is undoubtedly in the grip of a fairly serious mushroom trip while doing this little court room “thing” in front of judges, police, and many other authority figures that could reek havoc on his law career, should they deem Freddie to by on hallucinogens in an actual court room, during an actual trial. Folk like Chad and I are used to inappropriate and bizarre behavior, but we usually lump professionals like lawyers into that “other realm” of society – that which wear suits and get paid heaps, have secretaries and vacations in the Alps, and most of all, don’t perform their jobs under the influence of powerful, life-changing drugs. In short, Freddie is either our new hero – or I am getting a new roommate.
“Dude, FUCK!” Chad yells out as Freddie spins his head back around but not in time. . We smack directly into the body of this poor creature at 25 miles per hour and I see the fat in her cheeks expand like a flesh balloon as she is knocked back about ten feet to the pavement. Freddie slams on the brakes and we all jump out as the car comes to a halt. Freddie runs in his cheap suit to the woman as we follow. I am assuming already that she is dead. One of her leather boots is still on the ground where we struck her and I pick it up as we approach. She is moaning in pain as we arrive. Freddie reaches down and shakes her shoulder.
The Celestine Prophecy was brilliant but I take it to a new level. There are no coincidences for sure, but being high as shit during these “chance” encounters creates even more options – you will see. Inside the human mind we do create our “own reality” every moment, every second. Despite the reality of the physical world’s presence and the situations that we stumble into, like hitting an obese woman with a car while on illegal mushrooms – attitude and perspective truly are our Gods. Having this knowledge by my side is my superhero, my delusion of grandeur, although you should take out the word delusion and insert “awareness.” I am aware enough now to reach in to my pocket and take the last half I have of those wonderful Mercedes tabs, the MDMA that will not only get me through this day, but find me in new “opportunity windows” like James Redfield preached in his best selling book.
the mountains here are on a grid of energy, positive spiritual energy, that has a healing power for all those who look deep enough. Some of the peaks around here tower over 6000 ft. high, and if I were wealthy enough, I would build a waterslide that goes 6000 feet down into a pool of pure water, flowing from the Kingdom of Heaven in and around the trees and into the forest – the forest we run to when the world overwhelms us. There are wizards hiding here and fairies and goblins and trolls and flowers and mushrooms and the finest mist, blown from the mouth of God down gently from the Pisgah forest and into our souls. That mist was with us in the court room today, a part of it living in our blood, our faith – our passion. We refuse to see mental illness as a bad thing, but inversely as a pure blessing. Defladi was right when he told me that he would never leave Chad and would protect him from this cruel world. And one thing about Defladi – that son of a bitch can hold his liquor and drugs. Even I can’t keep up with him.
My mind begins to race through its walls now, debating the choice of wit, philosophy, sincerity, comedy, bonding, movies and literature, or just saying something so fucking weird you don’t know what category to place it in. That is one of my favorites. You can of course combine topics, one of Chad’s specialties. He will begin a conversation by asking you if you have ever eaten Sushi on mushrooms. That leads to when he did so in public with Angie, which leads to if you have ever fucked on mushrooms, of if you have ever just “had sex with a girl without touching her – just the energy transference.” This leads to eastern philosophy and if you are aware that combining Taoism with liberal Christianity and a dash of Unitarianism and Pantheism you may have the perfect religion, if you have to have religion at all. That leads me to tell you about levitation, and why is so significant to our story. There is documentable evidence that levitation has existed throughout human history. And since I dabble in levitation and aspire to fully levitate and since I believe that the spiritual and human ability to defy the laws of nature and gravity is plausible – well let’s say that it opens up a whole world of things that could be possible. When you beat the laws of nature, or expand upon the traditional definition of those laws, you venture into what I call “the privileged few.”
. If you ingested Ecstasy into the water system of fighting soldiers and fundamentalist, hate filled psychopaths – I truly believe they would put down their guns and Books of Mormon with their hatred and fear, and then walk on water to hug their supposed enemies under the light of Mercury. MDMA had a very significant quality in terms of its affect on human emotion. In a nutshell, it eliminates aggression, fear, hatred and what remains is the best part of you – the child inside who use to believe in dreams and hope, before the world raped you alive. We have all been raped here and we all are still standing with that constant set of wounds. Amidst that chaos, the stillness and Zen nature of our two cats – Sheeba and Frasier remain untouched and I must thank my wife for the lesson she taught me about cats and now thank Sheeba and Frasier for teaching me more about Buddhism in five minutes of observing them, than all the books and so called “masters” have the last twenty years.
The three of us are running as fast as our legs ands minds can muster. Sunflowerman is really quick and barely breathing hard, unlike me. Chad is faster than me. We don’t speak as we dodge branches and spider webs and jump over logs and accelerate through wet fields, then back into the forest of Western North Carolina. The hearts inside our skin and bones are pumping hard, backed by mind enhancing drugs and a dream of freedom and brotherhood. The memories of Scottish Clans and the tribes of Creek Indian and the Cherokee Nation and a lonely Shaman channeling the spirit of the Earth and the Holy dark matter scientists can’t explain, all this flows through me from the magic of MDMA and a will to live in this world I don’t belong to but God willing, will save.
The vastness of the universe exists in human minds, not in the reality of my Father holding it in the palm of his hand. What we consider to be time and distance in terms of human perception means nothing when you consider the possibility that the Matrix is true, that real life begins when we die and that world of His Kingdom lives right in front of your face, just three feet away but far enough to kill dreams and conquer faith in the eyes of children. Such is the power of my Father, for who but he could give the power to create hope and then take it away if and when he chooses? You cum one moment in sexual ecstasy and watch the sunrise with your true love in another and that moment of perfection make the world seem right while memories of the Magic Kingdom resonate with the call of evil. My Lord, can you meet us in this moment of prayer? Be with us in all things. We want to be animals, want to give in to these carnal desires that men profess to. Will you meet us there?
These are just words to be sure, much like the Scriptures are just words, or the Tao Te Ching, or Shakespeare’s Sonnets and the ideas they represent are elements of perspective and action in the eyes of power. Only power can save my friend from committing suicide and only God’s love has the force of all creation behind it, rumbling through the agony of history into the 21st century and the technology that could save this dying planet. ZEITGEIST! Then again, I might be crazy. We shall see…
. Freddie is walking towards us and sees we are praying. He is still naked and breathing hard and he sits quietly with us as he looks around at the beauty of these mountains and the five stars above that glisten with the infinite pentagram crucifixion. Beyond the farthest star is where you will find me, as my Father and I fly over canyons and fields and oceans of a world you cannot possibly comprehend, although your dreams might show you a glimpse of what I speak of. The speed of light is slowing us down as my inspiration and love take us there together. Will you come with me? “When you looked down his throat, you could see the whole universe. It was inside that he was different…”
The sun is coming up and we need to get back to Asheville. My back is hurting. Fuck, I need a drink. We walk quietly back to the car. The mood is more somber as we climb in and begin the descent down the Blueridge Parkway, amongst the million pine and oak trees of the south, of our beloved, liberal town in the mountains where the Biltmore Estate draws thousands of tourist and their money to feel like a King, if only for a day.
